Hozer Video Games
Available from Hozer Video Games
Charles F. Gray
- What is with this "Randy"?
- Is he villain or saint?
- He makes some people cheer
- and some people faint!
Your name is Thomas and you are angry. After Jah Fish stole your 700 Euros, you've decided to strike back at the source. And in your mind, the source of bootleg carts is Randy at Hozer Video Games.
You have journeyed from Germany to the U.S.A. to the Dungeon Lair of Hozer. You have seen Randy's strange transformation from human to Hozer head. In Hozer's lair, you have discovered Hozer is ready to put tens of thousands of bootleg and pirated Hozer Video Games carts on Ebay and you must stop him.
Your only way to stop Hozer is to gather Hozer carts from the lowest level of Hozer's Lair and bring them to Hozer's Computer Terminal. Here you must seal Hozer in a prison of his own carts, before he gets the internet connection he needs to post his armada of Bootleg and pirate carts on Ebay. Barricade Hozer in a tomb of his own carts, so he can never make another new Hozer Video Games cart again. To succeed you will have to be faster than the autobahn, avoiding your old not-friend Jah Fish, Living Hozer Cartridges, and Ghosts of the Hole. Complete the job and Atari Age will be grateful.
Hozer Hozing Objective
You must build a barrier around Hozer before he posts his tens of thousands of Hozer carts on Ebay.
Player must collect Hozer Bootleg and Pirate carts from the depth of Hozer's Lair and bring them to the Hozer's Computer Terminal, where he must construct the barrier around Hozer.
A man named Randy transformed from Human to Giant Head, from Randy to Hozer he has become. Once the internet connection is fully functional, Hozer will post tens of thousands of Ebay auctions to sell his Hozer Video Games Cartridges.
Circuit Cross -
This device serves as a router that charges to eventually give Hozer internet access.
Randy's Rejects to Avoid
Ghost of the Hole -
Whether real or a mystic vision, these characters are equally terrifying. Contact one of them and you'll become spellbound for a short time.
Living Hozer Video Games Cartridge -
These cartridges made of dung slide smoothly throughout the lair. Avoid them or their stench will temporarily immobilize you. Shawn Sr.'s theory was right!
Jah Fish -
The depth of the Hozer's lair are infested with Jah Fish. Without warning they'll drop upon you from the cracks in the stone ceiling. Jah Fish seem determined to drive you into the deadly pool of hot liquid solder and steal your Eurodollars.
Drywall Hammer -
Living in the dark corners by Hozer's Computer Terminal are scores of crazed Drywall Hammers who will pound you as you make your final assault on Hozer.
How to Stop Hozer
1. Hook up your video game system according to the manufacturer's instructions.
2. With game console off, firmly insert your Hozer Video Games game cartridge.
3. Turn game console power on. The game scene should appear. It will be in a standby mode. If no picture appears, check to make sure your game unit is hooked correctly to your TV, then try steps 1 through 3 again.
4. Adjust the "Brightness" control on your TV for best contrast.
5. Plug your joystick controller into the left receptacle of your console. For two players, use both joystick controllers. Player 1 uses the left controller and Player 2 uses the right controller.
6. Depress "GAME SELECT" switch for one or two player option. The number of players will appear on the top of your screen.
7. Select your level of difficulty by positioning the "DIFFICULTY" switch at either Level A (for Advanced) or Level B (for Beginners).
8. Depress the GAME RESET switch, then press the red fire control button on your joystick controller to start game play. Ebay Lighting will periodically flash across the screen toward the Circuit Cross which in turn will start to connect Hozer to the internet. As Hozer starts to connect to the internet he will slowly turn a green color. When he is completely green he will connect to the internet, post his tens of thousands Hozer Video Games Cartridges on Ebay and then come for you. Your objective is to prevent this from happening by constructing a wall of carts around Hozer.
If your difficulty switch is set for beginners you will have 8 1/2 minutes to finish the wall of carts. In the advanced level you will only have 5 minutes.
9. Use your joystick controller and make your way to the lower level of Hozer's lair and pick up the cartridge shown at the lower right hand corner of your screen. Avoid falling through trapdoors or contacting Ghosts of the Hole and Jah Fish. They will steal your Euros and slow you down. You can either avoid them or use your fire control button to jump over the. NOTE: You cannot jump over the Ghost of the Hole.
Once you have retrieved the Hozer cartridge, you must make your way back to the top of Hozer's lair. To climb up through a trap door, press the red fire control button while holding the joystick in the forward position. When you reach the top of Hozer's Lair, you must make your way behind the green-colored wall. At this point Scene 2 will appear and you will be swarmed by Drywall Hammers. Continue through the pounding hammers towards Hozer. At each side of Hozer, there will be a small footing where you must place your cartridge. If you succeed the screen will change back to Scene 1, which will show the beginnings of a wall on both sides of Hozer. To finish the wall you must repeat the above process 6 times. Each time will be more difficult.
10. If you fall into the pool of hot liquid solder, you will lose one turn. If in a single player mode, the game will automatically move onto your next turn. The timer does not stop. If there are two players, the game will automatically shift to player two's turn at which time his timer will start. When a player loses three turns the game will be over. Depress the RESET button and start a new game.
In this game you will start with 500 Euros. Each time you run into a Ghost of the Hole or a Jah Fish, they will steal 20 Euros. Each time a Drywall Hammer hits you, you will lose 10 Euros. Falling through a trapdoor will cost you 100 Euros. If you are unfortunate enough to fall into the pool of hot liquid solder, you will lose 200 Euros and one of your three lives.
For each cartridge you place around Hozer, you will gain a bonus of 500 Euros. Finally, if you finish the job before your time runs out, you will gain a bonus of 100 Euros for each unit of time saved. NOTE: It takes 30 units of time for Hozer to connect to the internet and Ebay.
Additional Hozer Horribles Strategies
The primary objective in this game is to beat the timer and enclose Hozer. A secondary objective is to complete the primary objective with the most Eurodollars.
If you are beginning to run out of time, you can take short cuts by jumping through the trap doors to the platform floating in the hot liquid solder. This will cost you 100 Euros, but it will save time.
When jumping over the pool of hot liquid solder, watch closely for the Jah Fish. They will give you about a one-second warning before they drop into your path to steal your money. It is best to make your jump immediately after the Jah Fish has completed his descent.
Remember! This game gets more difficult with each cartridge you collect. Move as quickly as possible to save the time you will need later when you face additional trapdoors, even larger Living Video Game Cartridges, and movable platforms floating on the pool of hot liquid solder. Be prepared for even more surprises as you get closer to completing the barrier.
Any resemblance to real persons, places, or things living or dead is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction. Gray Games, Hozer Video Games and the contributors, mentioned and not mentioned within this release, in no way reflect the images, beliefs, storylines, and characterizations within the game and manual. Also Gray Games, Hozer Video Games, and the contributors of this product are not responsible for spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, financial, reputational, or any other damage done to you, your family members, your friends, acquaintances, complete strangers, businesses, aliens, synthetic life-forms, robotic life-forms, cybernetic life-forms, spirits, gods, demi-gods, demons, devils, or any entity live, dead, or undead within this reality from the Big Bang until the End of Time and other existences infinite.
"Ah yes! Who says I don't have a sense of humor? This cart was made up in response to a request from some folks who I suppose wanted to be mean to me - but I cried all the way to the bank (since the game's creator gave me a nice chunk of the money for my troubles!) Now, you can have your very own piece of anti-Randy history." - Randy